Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
