sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
