so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
