No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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