after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
