She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
