I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
