shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
