i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
