Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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