I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
