Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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