The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
