I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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