I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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