i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
