i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
