To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
