Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
