"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
