there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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