Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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