Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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