i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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