my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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