AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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