honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
