belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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