That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
