Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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