he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
