So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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