i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
