That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
