He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We talked him into tasing himself.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We had sex on a dog bed..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
