the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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