Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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