May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
