Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
