You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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