chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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