I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
