we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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