By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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