Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
