How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize