I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
