i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
