his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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