I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
